I guess I haven’t posted in a little while. I’ve been having some health issues, that I don’t really want to go into, but they have put off fertility treatments for a bit. I am just about to start a new cycle and my doctor prefers I skip the whole thing this time.
Last cycle, we were doing a natural cycle to try and get my body back to a non-synthetic hormone state before we started a new protocol. The health issues arrived right in the middle and I stressed about it a lot. So I am now on day 41 of my cycle (usually they are 24 days without hormone assistance). Though it may end up being Day 1 of the next because I can feel the bleeding about to start.
With the bleeding comes the sadness. I told Mr. Pithecus just a few minutes ago, “I mourn every time I bleed.” And though it sounds like a line from and angsty teen movie, it’s true. Even if I took a pregnancy test and got a negative three days earlier. There is always still a chance. But when the bleeding starts, it’s definitely not going to happen.
I guess I should be grateful that I am bleeding. That I do get my period. And that even though the eggs may not be up to par, I am ovulating and I have eggs. I have a healthy uterus (the ultrasound tech once said “You have a beautiful uterus,” which was the weirdest complements I have ever gotten), I have two ovaries that sort of work, and two tubes that are not blocked. Yet still, I mourn.
So we will try again this cycle by natural means. Temps, cervical position and mucus. I will continue with acupuncture and the herbs, but no injections or hormone pills.
Next cycle though, we are diving in. We will start something called estrogen priming protocol. It is used a lot in poor responders, so my doctor decided it was time to try this for me. We already have all the meds needed. There are about $7100 worth of fertility meds in the fridge. We didn’t pay that much, we had incredible insurance. I think we paid a few hundred. We are very lucky in that respect. Very.